Deranged Mind

September 11, 2008

Perverts on the Internet

Filed under: Humor,internet,website — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 12:35 am

I’m sure by the title, all you perverts thought this was going to be about midget clown porn or something equally twisted. Sorry to let you down, but no there will be no links in this post to amputee sex sites. No, this is all about you sick ass motherfuckers who stumble upon this site through various web searches. Amongst all the statistics I can pull up about who visits this site are they keywords that people type into Google to find my little bit of insanity. Here they are some of the highlights:

  • genital origami
  • origami genitals
  • genital origami instructions – I ain’t telling you how to twist your junk
  • genital oragamy – learn to spell, my friend
  • newspaper carrier asshole
  • genital origami how to
  • doctor gropes female patients breasts
  • dana plato pics nude – bad form to spank to a dead chick
  • puppetry of a penis
  • the ancient art of genital origami
  • examples of genital origami
  • how to do genital origami
  • genital origami drawings
  • free disney high school musical picture printouts – I bet that poor mom was a bit surprised
  • and anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra
  • tightest ass
  • genital origami directions
  • genitale origami
  • origami of the genitals
  • genital origami loch ness – WTF?
  • milf neighbors
  • ice skater ass – I’m sure that was a sports medicine clinic looking for a treatment
  • woman ice skaters asses – here’s a good one
  • dick tricks
  • photo from the ancient art of genital origami

So what does this all mean? Not much other than there are a bunch of freaks who are really intrigued by tying their dick up like a pretzel. So here ya go all you sick-o’s, read it again and learn where you can go to bend your pipe. And if you’re really twisted, enjoy some Tonya Harding fantasies. Perverts.

September 26, 2007

Genital Origami

Filed under: Humor,internet,website — The Deranged One @ 10:57 am

A friend (you know who you are, you sick bastard) emailed me a link to an interesting site. Dick Tricks. For whatever reason, I clicked on the link. It’s a bunch of drawings of people contorting up their genitals into random shit. I’m sure somewhere, there’s somebody who would be offended by it. My personal favorite is the torch. Anyway, it made me wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

How did somebody find the time to devote to this project? (Dick Tricks, not this blog, you smart ass.) Is their life really that boring that they sit around contorting themselves into an odd shapes? Hell with the television, I’m going to see if I can wrap my tallywacker up into a new and exciting shape, then draw a picture of it, name it something cool and post it on the internet for the world to see. Dude, you need to get out of your mom’s basement more often.

Then I found something on the site which really disturbed me – there’s going to be a book. Dear God. Worse yet, I found a little blurb on the Amazon page that it’s a rip off. There’s another already published book called Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami. Hell, there’s even a DVD. Props for the creative title.

The whole thing makes me a little squeamish. If you have so much time on your hands (so to speak) that you can spend hours bending yourself into unnatural positions, you need to get out of the house more often. Go for a walk, wash the car, seek help! And please wash your hands after performing your genital origami. God knows, I’m going to worry the next time I shake somebody’s hand that they’ve been twisting their tool up into the Loch Ness Monster. And that’s all I have to say about that.

September 17, 2007

About this site

Filed under: internet,Uncategorized,website — The Deranged One @ 9:59 pm

Before I get a flood of comments and/or email from all of the closed minded, politically correct, patchouli oil wearing (does anybody still wear that vile smelling garbage?) whiners, I’d like to set the record straight. A lot of the things I think, say and write are not politically correct. A lot are probably offensive to most of the population. That’s fair. You’re entitled to your opinion and can cry as much as you’d like. However, I’m entitled to mine as well and I’m really not interested in hearing your cries of protest. So, before you come crying because my writings are the literary equivalent of sand in your vagina, let me assure you that I don’t give two shits how upset they make you. This is meant to be humorous (sorry if it isn’t your slapstick-Hollywood-brain dead humor) and fun. Besides, nobody forced you to click on that link.

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