Deranged Mind

March 9, 2009

David Wilkerson Urgently Warns Re Earth-Shattering Calamity!!!

Filed under: internet,News,Society — The Deranged One @ 8:19 pm

I was doing some housekeeping here on the site and came across this random link in the control panel: David Wilkerson Urgently Warns Re Earth-Shattering Calamity

Oh no, we’re all going to die!!! I couldn’t help but click the link to see what it had to say so I could get my affairs in order. However, I didn’t make it far. I saw the “endtimes” in the URL then glanced over to “about this site” and saw this tidbit:

End Times Visions and Christian prophecy for the church and for the nations from a servant of God called to speak God’s word (Miriam Franklin): bringing prophecies and prophetic words of revelation, warning of End Times apostasy and lukewarm Christianity, and trying to bring people’s hearts, minds and souls back to the Lord their God.

Oh brother.

Anyway, my interest was piqued, so I followed along and read some of our dear friend’s predictions. Funny, it seemed a bit familiar. And I have difficult understanding how, if New York and the surrounding area is on fire, there are going to be looters in Times Square. Are they immune to fire? Alas, I digress. I did a quick search (I refuse to “google it”) on Mr. Wilkerson to see what was up. Seems like there are just as many nutjobs who are diabolically opposed to him. Here was one of the best. In case you don’t feel like reading the whole article:

His past history is that hes been a tremondous predictor of major market bottoms.

The Chrisitan Church is these days as infested with Satanist as the Jewish Church with its Talmudic Rabbis. The Masons are satanic Cult at the highest levels, and their secret ceromonies are conducted in Hebrew. The Mason imagery and symbology comes from the J-wish Kaballah, or corrupted Judiasm’s satanic texts.

The Mullahs are all corrupt, or they would not be preaching anything except Christ Risen.

Nothing like a couple of fanatics to put a smile on my face.

February 25, 2009

A Lil Midget Fun

Filed under: Humor,internet,Uncategorized — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 11:05 am

In case you’re feeling a little down, this will cheer you up. I promise. By the way, what the fuck????

December 21, 2008

Facebook Attention Whoredom Part II (or is it Part III?)

Filed under: Humor,internet — The Deranged One @ 2:50 am

This will be my third installment of stupid shit on Facebook. Before anybody thinks I’m obsessed with Facebook, I’m not. I just happened to hear this little gem on the radio today and thought I would look it up when I got home.

Apparently, the faceless purveyors of Facebook are hit or miss when it comes to people posting pictures of themselves breast feeding. Some of the photos are taken down and others are left. Personally, I don’t care and I certainly don’t go out of my way to look for pictures of people feeding their rugrats. But apparently, there’s a whole group who seem obsessed with breastfeeding.

Now don’t think I’m a prude. On the contrary, I could gaze at tits all day. But breastfeeding? So you also force the world to look at pictures of your kids smearing macaroni and cheese all over the place? Boy, that sounds really exciting. Instead, it strikes me as more Facebook Attention Whoredom. Yawn.

And here’s another thought – something which is somewhat dear to me. The women who are whining about their breastfeeding photos haven’t paid a single penny toward Facebook, have they? It’s a service that they use for free. It’s somebody else’s (or in this case, a company’s) website. On occasion, I get somebody bitching because they’ve posted something on one of my websites which is either inappropriate, pisses me off, or both. In any event, I take it down and the inevitable bitching begins. But in the end, it’s my website, bandwidth and money. So if you don’t like it, go start your own website.

Now if only Facebook would allow videos of the actual conception…

December 19, 2008

Facebook Attention Whoredom

Filed under: Humor,internet — The Deranged One @ 2:05 am

I was looking over things and discovered in ealier rant about Facebook, that I forgot to mention something else that I find totally worthless. XXXX is….. – that’s the box that says “What are you doing right now.” I’m typing on the computer, what the hell do you think? And people try to come up with witty statements that usually fall short. Or they go off the deep end and update us every few minutes. But it’s not real.

I was thinking that perhaps I should try to figure out the internet on cell phone (Verizon – suck ass service) and update Facebook every time I do something.

I am taking a shit.

I am wiping.

I am pissed because I dropped the phone in the toilet while wiping.

You get the idea. A bunch of fucking attention whore drama if you ask me. I have a couple of friends who are off the hook updating that shit. I swear, they spend more time on the damn computer than they do in real life. And if they didn’t spend so much time updating all of the people on Facebook on their daily activities, they’d probably have about 2 extra hours per day to accomplish shit. That’s their thing though.

I would like to see some real shit posted on Facebook – the kind that would bring a smile to my face.

Jane is fantasizing about having anal sex with the cashier at the grocery store even though he is probably only 17.

Dick is trying to think of a way to tell his wife he wants to have a threeway with her and her sister.

Now that would be keeping it real.

December 15, 2008

I Facebooked Your Mom

Filed under: internet — The Deranged One @ 12:47 am

A few months ago, the missus talked me into setting up a Facebook account. Social networking at it’s finest. What is social networking? Beats me. I do know that our 2nd eldest child had a bunch of drama when she was about 14 on myspace. I haven’t spent much time on myspace. Well, just enough time to see that there are a bunch of teenage girls who have dimly lit photos of themselves blowing kisses into the mirror so they can get a cell phone picture. That and a bunch of shit on their profiles that’ll induce seizures.
Anyway, Facebook. No big deal, or so I thought. The sister in law added me as a friend. And then the deluge started. I had people coming out of the woodwork sending friend request. There were a couple that I didn’t have a clue who they were. I had people I haven’t spoken to in 20 years suddenly wanting to be my friend. Apparently, a few of those people were too dense to figure out that there was a reason 20 years had passed.

And then the request began. Here’s a drink request. Kidnap request. Old toy request. Smelly underwear request. And on and on. Last time I checked, there were about 200 pending requests of one kind or another. I requests to join pet causes. I was quite excited when a friend of mine from work invited me to “feel my boobies” or something like that. Since she has a pretty abundant rack, I was all for it. I was dismayed when I discovered that it was some breast cancer awareness thing.

I guess Facebook is okay, but I don’t spend much time on it. Not like some people. My cousin wanted me to join some cause where everybody is planning to avoid (I think they mean boycott) Facebook for a day because they’re pissed about something or other. Fine with me. It’s just a website, not a way of life.

September 11, 2008

Perverts on the Internet

Filed under: Humor,internet,website — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 12:35 am

I’m sure by the title, all you perverts thought this was going to be about midget clown porn or something equally twisted. Sorry to let you down, but no there will be no links in this post to amputee sex sites. No, this is all about you sick ass motherfuckers who stumble upon this site through various web searches. Amongst all the statistics I can pull up about who visits this site are they keywords that people type into Google to find my little bit of insanity. Here they are some of the highlights:

  • genital origami
  • origami genitals
  • genital origami instructions – I ain’t telling you how to twist your junk
  • genital oragamy – learn to spell, my friend
  • newspaper carrier asshole
  • genital origami how to
  • doctor gropes female patients breasts
  • dana plato pics nude – bad form to spank to a dead chick
  • puppetry of a penis
  • the ancient art of genital origami
  • examples of genital origami
  • how to do genital origami
  • genital origami drawings
  • free disney high school musical picture printouts – I bet that poor mom was a bit surprised
  • and anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra
  • tightest ass
  • genital origami directions
  • genitale origami
  • origami of the genitals
  • genital origami loch ness – WTF?
  • milf neighbors
  • ice skater ass – I’m sure that was a sports medicine clinic looking for a treatment
  • woman ice skaters asses – here’s a good one
  • dick tricks
  • photo from the ancient art of genital origami

So what does this all mean? Not much other than there are a bunch of freaks who are really intrigued by tying their dick up like a pretzel. So here ya go all you sick-o’s, read it again and learn where you can go to bend your pipe. And if you’re really twisted, enjoy some Tonya Harding fantasies. Perverts.

October 28, 2007

Snake Oil

Filed under: internet — The Deranged One @ 11:24 pm

snake oil
n.

  1. A worthless preparation fraudulently peddled as a cure for many ills.
  2. Speech or writing intended to deceive; humbug.

Every once in a while, I come across something on the Internet that strikes me as complete bullshit. Could this be one of them? Hmm, sure seems like it.

October 1, 2007

Trukz

Filed under: internet — The Deranged One @ 12:16 pm

I don’t normally spend a lot of time on the internet playing games, but I came across this one – rather interesting. It’s a trucking simulation game – not the kind where you can use a truck to mow down innocent school children on their way to cut class, but more the business side of it. Check it out.

http://www.trukz.com

September 26, 2007

Genital Origami

Filed under: Humor,internet,website — The Deranged One @ 10:57 am

A friend (you know who you are, you sick bastard) emailed me a link to an interesting site. Dick Tricks. For whatever reason, I clicked on the link. It’s a bunch of drawings of people contorting up their genitals into random shit. I’m sure somewhere, there’s somebody who would be offended by it. My personal favorite is the torch. Anyway, it made me wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

How did somebody find the time to devote to this project? (Dick Tricks, not this blog, you smart ass.) Is their life really that boring that they sit around contorting themselves into an odd shapes? Hell with the television, I’m going to see if I can wrap my tallywacker up into a new and exciting shape, then draw a picture of it, name it something cool and post it on the internet for the world to see. Dude, you need to get out of your mom’s basement more often.

Then I found something on the site which really disturbed me – there’s going to be a book. Dear God. Worse yet, I found a little blurb on the Amazon page that it’s a rip off. There’s another already published book called Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami. Hell, there’s even a DVD. Props for the creative title.

The whole thing makes me a little squeamish. If you have so much time on your hands (so to speak) that you can spend hours bending yourself into unnatural positions, you need to get out of the house more often. Go for a walk, wash the car, seek help! And please wash your hands after performing your genital origami. God knows, I’m going to worry the next time I shake somebody’s hand that they’ve been twisting their tool up into the Loch Ness Monster. And that’s all I have to say about that.

September 17, 2007

About this site

Filed under: internet,Uncategorized,website — The Deranged One @ 9:59 pm

Before I get a flood of comments and/or email from all of the closed minded, politically correct, patchouli oil wearing (does anybody still wear that vile smelling garbage?) whiners, I’d like to set the record straight. A lot of the things I think, say and write are not politically correct. A lot are probably offensive to most of the population. That’s fair. You’re entitled to your opinion and can cry as much as you’d like. However, I’m entitled to mine as well and I’m really not interested in hearing your cries of protest. So, before you come crying because my writings are the literary equivalent of sand in your vagina, let me assure you that I don’t give two shits how upset they make you. This is meant to be humorous (sorry if it isn’t your slapstick-Hollywood-brain dead humor) and fun. Besides, nobody forced you to click on that link.

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