Deranged Mind

November 22, 2008

Merry X-mas

Filed under: California,Humor — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 3:05 am

As I mentioned the night before Election Day (Election Eve?) I saw a Christmas commercial on the television. I’ve always been upset because it seems that the retailers push Christmas earlier and earlier each year. I have nothing against Christmas, I just get sick and tired of the commercials. This year isn’t looking to be any different.
The night following Election Day, I saw two houses in my neighborhood that not only had their Christmas lights up, but turned on as well. That would be November 5th. I felt a little nauseous when I saw them. It got worse. Last week, I was driving through Sacramento and got stuck in a traffic jam on I-80 thanks to a couple of idiots who decided to play bumper cars. They had pulled out of traffic, but that didn’t matter to all the other idiots on the highway who had to slow down for a glimpse and backed up traffic for a good 2 miles. I often wish that the idiots (I refuse to call them rubberneckers -- a stupid term) would get a good look at an eviscerated driver. Not that I wish evisceration on anybody (that I can say out loud,) but I’d like the idiot in front of me who has to slam on the brakes to take a peak at a wreck to have nightmares for weeks.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was sitting in traffic and there wasn’t anything good on the radio. So I started flipping the dial. No, I no longer have a dial I can flip, but that’s what we always called it. The radio stopped on a station proudly and loudly broadcasting Christmas music. I thought it was a fluke and quickly changed to some obscure AM talk show. A few minutes later, I switched back and sure enough, more Christmas music. Hmm, this isn’t looking good.

Not only that, but last week, we received our first Christmas card of the year. Worse yet, I stopped at a Fry’s store on Monday and they were blasting Christmas music.

What is the world coming to? Pretty soon, are we going to be preparing for Christmas on July 5th? Perhaps the local service clubs can set up a combination fireworks/Christmas tree stand. That would make for some outstanding fires.

As I said, I have nothing against Christmas. If I remember correctly, it’s supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus and not the one working in the kitchen at the local Chinese restaurant. Instead, it’s become a competition to see who can throw the gaudiest looking shit on their house, have the Christmas cards delivered first and sell the most shit that nobody can afford. That’s the real Christmas spirit.

And here’s something that always puts a smile on my face:

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