Deranged Mind

September 23, 2008

CA Redemption Value

Filed under: California — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 2:30 am

Back in the days (the 70′s) I used to recycle aluminum cans. Bottles too. Remember the wire carts near the checkout stands where you’d bring your empty coke bottles? Well, as time went on, my garbage company delivered a special can to toss our recyclables into and that’s what we’ve done since.

The kids were asking about the “CA Redemption Value” printed on all the soda cans when we were camping last month. I explained that when we purchase beer, soda, water, or whatever, we pay a deposit and when you return it to one of the recycling centers here in California, you get your deposit back. Well, not quite. If you have to pay sales tax on the beverage you’re buying, you also pay the sales tax on the CRV. Yet when you return the container, you don’t get your tax back. Another sneaky way for the state to milk us dry.

Anyway, the girls thought it was pretty cool so when we got back home, instead of throwing our cans and bottles into the recycle bin, I set up a spare trash can to store them in for a month to see how much we’d collect. The can overflowed in about a week. So I started filling garbage bags.

Now, before you think we’re alcoholics drinking beer like it’s going out of style, worry not. The missus refuses to drink our well water so we go through bottled water like it’s going out of style. And I think the girls decided to see how much soda and juice they could possibly consume. I had to put a stop to the soda. Anyway, we ended up with about 4 or 5 large bags of cans and bottles and today was the end of the 30 day trial period. Actually, yesterday was.

Yesterday, I loaded up all of the cans and bottles into the truck and drove to the local grocery store where I recently saw the recycle container. That’s all they really are here in CA. A fancy conex parked in the corner of the parking lot. I arrived and it wasn’t there anymore. Plus, one of the bags opened up and I had to stop to pick up a couple of the plastic water bottles that blew out. I did my shopping and came back home. And I was a little irritated.

I got on the internet today to figure out where the closest recycling center is. I recognized two of them (the missing one from yesterday was no longer on the list) and off I went. I arrived at the closest one and it’s not there either. What the hell? I head to the second one in the next town over and now I’ve driven 13.1 miles. I pull into the parking lot and I’m a bit surprised to see that it’s there. And it’s open. I unload my junk and drag it over to the container. Two meth addicted dumpster divers rode their bicycles up just as I got there with their bags of cans. So I stood and waited. When it was my turn, the keeper of the bin told me he was going to lunch.

I’m not an expert on customer service, but what the fuck? I was already pissed about driving all over creation trying to find a damn recycling center and now that I’ve unloaded the truck and waited a few minutes, you’re going to tell me to piss off so you can go to lunch? My first instinct was to grab him by the throat and after choking him out, locking him in the container. But that wouldn’t be very Christian, would it? Actually, there were too many soccer moms roaming about the parking lot. I settled for a “fuck you and I hope you choke on your lunch” before loading all of my shit back into the truck and heading off again.

I remembered from my internet search that there was an actual honest to god recycle center at the garbage transfer station. Hopefully it’s not another of these fly-by-night container jobs. So off I go. I get there and now I’ve driven 19.5 miles. Not that I’ve driven forever and a day, but with diesel costing over $4 a gallon and adding pollutants to the air, I’m starting to think that I’m defeating the whole purpose of recycling here. Alas, I arrive at the transfer station and there is indeed a recycling center with scales, conveyor belts, the whole 9 yards. And it’s open!

There are 5 people in line ahead of me. I wonder if they’ve had all the same difficulties I’ve experienced. I wasn’t in a chatty mood, so I didn’t bother to ask. I unload the stuff again and put the cans, glass and plastic bottles in various garbage cans then drag them over to the scale. The poor guy working the scale had a horrible wandering eye. Strabismus for you educated folks. He had an equally horrible personality. In any event, he weighed my stuff. Since I had more than 50 containers, they do it by weight. Here was the grand total for the month:

  • 1.2 pounds of aluminum cans = $1.88
  • 15.8 pounds of plastic bottles = $14.54
  • 28.6 pounds of clear glass = $3.00
  • 23.8 pounds of colored glass = $2.50

He had me sign the receipt then directed me to the scale at the entrance for my cash. The jackass at the entrance had an equally bad disposition. I guess smelling trash all day wouldn’t make me bright and sunny though. So I collected my $21.91 and drove home.

I ended up driving 32.4 miles. For simplicity, we’ll say that I averaged 16 miles per gallon at $4.25 a gallon. So my profit is down to $13.41. That doesn’t include my frustration from finding closed and missing recycling centers. And in the end, I had promised the girls whatever money we made from recycling so they got the money. Was it worth it? Undecided. But I want my sales tax back.

September 11, 2008

Perverts on the Internet

Filed under: Humor,internet,website — Tags: , — The Deranged One @ 12:35 am

I’m sure by the title, all you perverts thought this was going to be about midget clown porn or something equally twisted. Sorry to let you down, but no there will be no links in this post to amputee sex sites. No, this is all about you sick ass motherfuckers who stumble upon this site through various web searches. Amongst all the statistics I can pull up about who visits this site are they keywords that people type into Google to find my little bit of insanity. Here they are some of the highlights:

  • genital origami
  • origami genitals
  • genital origami instructions – I ain’t telling you how to twist your junk
  • genital oragamy – learn to spell, my friend
  • newspaper carrier asshole
  • genital origami how to
  • doctor gropes female patients breasts
  • dana plato pics nude – bad form to spank to a dead chick
  • puppetry of a penis
  • the ancient art of genital origami
  • examples of genital origami
  • how to do genital origami
  • genital origami drawings
  • free disney high school musical picture printouts – I bet that poor mom was a bit surprised
  • and anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra
  • tightest ass
  • genital origami directions
  • genitale origami
  • origami of the genitals
  • genital origami loch ness – WTF?
  • milf neighbors
  • ice skater ass – I’m sure that was a sports medicine clinic looking for a treatment
  • woman ice skaters asses – here’s a good one
  • dick tricks
  • photo from the ancient art of genital origami

So what does this all mean? Not much other than there are a bunch of freaks who are really intrigued by tying their dick up like a pretzel. So here ya go all you sick-o’s, read it again and learn where you can go to bend your pipe. And if you’re really twisted, enjoy some Tonya Harding fantasies. Perverts.

September 10, 2008

Dumpster Muffin and Other Idiots

Filed under: California,Humor,News — Tags: — The Deranged One @ 2:13 am

I don’t think I’ve been able to watch the news once in the last year and a half without hearing about the fools in the trees at UC Berkeley. The university wants to build an athletic training center next to Memorial Stadium. In the midst of the planned center is (well, as of this writing, all of the trees except for two have been cut down) a grove of trees; the majority of which were planted as landscaping in 1923 after the stadium was built. In any event, this outraged the dregs of society who apparently don’t have any responsibilities (read jobs) who decided to climb into the trees to save them. There they stayed since December 2006. And occupying my news. Until today.

As most things in Berkeley go, the tree sitting trespassers and their ground-based supporters have provided ample entertainment. Zachary RunningWolf started it all. Though I don’t know him personally and hope that I never do, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that this fucktard will always be a drain on society. Next up is my beloved Dumpster Muffin. With a name like that, how can you not smile? Or snicker? Take a gander and tell me what you think.

If only she would’ve fallen out of the tree. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against a good protest. But when you toss buckets of your piss and shit out of the tree at the police, you don’t have a thing coming except perhaps a boot to the side of the head.

Anyway, after several lawsuits, more inflammatory actions by the delusional Berkeley city council and numerous arrests, the trees were cut down and today, the last of the protesters came out of the trees. I can have my news back. The urchins can crawl back under whatever rock they came from. The university can build their center.

But how am I going to keep up to date on the activities or RunningWolf (I suspect that’s not really his name and I suspect he’s not really Indian)? I had a good laugh when I read on his website that he’s the “leader for the 85,000 Native Americans in the Bay Area, which is the largest native community in the United States except for Oklahoma City.” I invite him to come on back to DinĂ© with me. There are a few more people than 85,000. What will become of Dumpster Muffin? Will she be deloused, receive electroshock therapy and go to work as, oh maybe an investment banker? Oh the possibilities.

September 2, 2008

KPFA – The Police State

Filed under: California,Humor,News — Tags: , , — The Deranged One @ 1:02 am

KPFA has been around since 1949. It was started by an anarchist pacifist in our beloved Berkeley, CA. I’m sure you can see where this one’s going. It has a pretty strong signal throughout Northern California, you can listen to it on this newfangled internet and, if some of it’s programming is carried on the Pacifica Network so you can hear the shows which are carried on some of the NPR stations. What does all of this have to do with anything? Not much. Other than the Berkeley angle.

Not much comes out of Berkeley that is relevant to the rest of civilization. Occasionally, I get a chuckle out of their stupidity. I did have a pretty good laugh about the Berkeley city council’s brilliant decision to allow a bunch of out of touch nutjobs with too much time on their hands to completely disrupt a business district whilst protesting in front of a Marine Corp recruiting station. Well, I didn’t laugh at the Marines or the unfortunate business owners who had to endure the drama orchestrated by the treasonous council. I laughed at said traitors who tripped over themselves backpedaling when they realized they how foolish they looked.

But the latest from KPFA puts a smile on my face. There was drama there in the late 1990′s because somebody or other felt that Pacifica and KPFA were becoming too mainstream. Essentially, that’s what it came down to. There were protests, firings, arrests, etc. 10 years later, does anybody remember or care? I don’t. And normally, I don’t pay too much attention to anything related to KPFA until I saw this little tidbit in the paper.

In case you have no desire to read the entire article, allow me to summarize. There was a black woman (that doesn’t seem to have any bearing on the story until “Minister of Information” is quoted as saying, “The station reports on police terrorism. Police should not have been called to deal with a black woman”) who was a volunteer at the station. She wasn’t wanted there anymore and there’s some question as to whether she was told she was unwanted. Either way, management told her to leave. She didn’t. They called the police and when officers arrived, she started acting a fool. When they tried to remove her, she punched and bit the officers. Personally, if you bite me, you’d better have a very good dental plan because I’ll kick your teeth down your throat. Regardless, she went to jail. And now the bellyachers at KPFA are doing their thing. Here are a couple of highlights:

In an e-mail two days after the incident, interim General Manager Lemlem Rigio said Foster had been banned and called a staff meeting to discuss what had happened.

“It is important for you to know that the Berkeley Police acted independent of direction from KPFA,” Rigio wrote. “We are extremely concerned about this incident and are deeply committed to hearing your important comments and feedback.”

I wasn’t aware that KPFA directed the police. You call the police and tell them you want somebody gone, then when they start fighting the officers, you call time out? Right.

Dan Siegel, an attorney for Pacifica Radio, said management felt afraid when Foster refused to leave.

“Everyone is appalled at what occurred, but I’m not sure I would blame the person who called the police,” he said. “Our staff people have the right to work in a safe environment.

“It does seem that the big number of armed police officers could have escalated the situation.”

The police escalated the situation? No, I think the idiot who started punching and biting escalated the situation.

No end in sight to the funny stuff oozing from Berkeley like shit from a broken sewer pipe.

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